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I once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels. I might ask for an oatmeal cookie from time to time.

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I almost got the chance to say hi, but that didn't work out. Points for being honest?

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I never say something Frre like chicken -- not even chicken. Who gives a Rats Ass? Hoping I get the chance to talk with you. My organ donation card also lists my beard. You know what -- lets strike that one.

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I once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.

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Oh hell that's just a blatant lie -- I'm so sorry. When it is raining, it is because I'm thinking of something sad.

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I am well hung and like multiple hours of sex, If you can handle the above aforementioned then you are the one I am Frfe for!. Forget I said that one.

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I've been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room. But I am a brilliant conversationalist.

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That's right. You could use this to really tick of society.

I've amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that I've never once alphabetized it. I am now divorced and I will gorny be totally honest here and say that yes indeed I am a terribly shallow person who is now ready to have a Scorching Hottie that is about half my age for a Status Symbol Girlfriend.

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Unless such a comment is just negative and offensive to you in which case what I meant to say is that I am a very civic minded Samaritan whose sole purpose in life is to bring peace to my fellow man. I am the most interesting man in the world. I am 44 and I look 38, I have an exuberant personality and I love life and I get along way better with women that are younger than I am. I also like donuts If I were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.